Legalising - Live-in Relationships

A huge debate is going on around the country on legalising live-in relationships vis-a-vis marriage. Everyone has his own opinion depending on his preferences, upbringing, individual sexual exposure & experience, and background. Some state governments are in the process of formulating some laws to legalise it.
Live-in relationships – what exactly is a live-in and for what ends? As far as I understand, it is a relationship of convenience – in that case, is it justified to call it a relation at all. A relationship is based on mutual trust, sharing and caring, understanding and most of all giving without the expectation of a return. It is not a trade partnership where in we have defined assets and liabilities share. Relationships are based on Love, mutual or one sided. In case of mutual love – we almost touch the havens, whereas in case of one-sided love – over time it gets converted into mutual love only. Any relationship devoid of Love can never be called a relationship. Marriage also is a relationship, at least in India, and is never without love. Many people may argue over this, but ultimately they will have to accept the fact that it is not without love. In case of arranged marriages, it can be argued, how this relationship is based on love. True, at the start an arranged marriage is based on the convenience of the two families rather than the partners. The partners first start connecting sexually and gradually move on to LOVE. Our centuries old experience suggests it to be the most successful social institution. If everything is so simple and nice, then why at all we have divorces? There are exceptions; there is always a chance of things going sour. Here also the presence of love cannot be denied, only it is over-shadowed by other priorities. In most cases both the partners are equally responsible for the mishap, in a fewer number of cases only one partner may be at fault. This does not render the institution of marriage invalid.
The live-in concept is born out of this unfortunate mishap. The legal and social implications, the attendant cumbersome processes, both legal and financial, the time frame and above all the psychological toll on the individuals all add to favour a Live-in relationship instead of marriage. But the biggest fault with this is – even before starting – we are preparing for separation. The primary assumption here is – in case something goes wrong, in case things do not work out the way we want, in case we are not sexually compatible, in case ...., in case... so many in cases. With so many in cases – it is absurd to assume we will build a relationship at all. The most evident reason to get into a live-in relationship seems to be SEX and to some extent sharing some emotional ground. Here we do not recognise the fact that – A man trades emotions for SEX and a woman trades SEX for emotions. They may both enjoy the sexual aspect but the means and ends are at opposing ends. A man initiates emotionally to fulfil his sexual desires whereas a woman grants some sexual liberties to fulfil her emotional desires. Ultimately both reach the centre of the road – to enjoy sexual bliss.
Probably, this sexual aspect and the attendant pleasure is at the core of this man-woman relationship. In the animal world, sex is not for pleasure; rather it is a procreation activity. That is why they have mating seasons and unlike humans they do not engage in sexual activity at will and at any time. As humans, we have evolved and the compulsions of population explosion around the world have separated sex from procreation. In modern times, there is a significant percentage of population which engage in sex only for pleasure.
Nothing wrong with it, but where is the need of redefining the social institutions. We have had live-ins for centuries; even polygamy was a type of live-in only. Over time we have discarded polygamy in favour of monogamy. With legalising – live-ins we are going back in time and reverting to polygamy. Instead of multiple partners at the same time (Parallel Relationship) – we will have series of multiple partners one after the other (Serial Relationship). In case one relationship fails – we part ways – again fly like a freebee and get in to a new relationship, again we fail to live up to the new relationship – part ways and go on and on. In the process we would have robbed everything out of the relationship but for SEX. What will be the fate of the children born out of such Serial affairs is anybody’s guess. May be by resolving a small issue of divorce/separation, we will end up with much bigger issues in the future. Across the world what percentage of population subscribes to this system is anybody’s guess. For a small and insignificant percentage of supporters we want to disturb the whole institution and rock the very foundations of the Indian Culture is something beyond comprehension.
These are my views – many people may disagree with this line of thinking but I’m sure a larger part will agree with this. Let’s hope wisdom prevails and things work out well keeping the very foundations of our system intact.